Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He did a backflip because drugs
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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