I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
