kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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