i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
