butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
