Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
