it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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