Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
