Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
