She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
either way he was missing a nipple.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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