how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize