i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
