plz talk dirty to me
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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