Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize