Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
