3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
