im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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