apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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