I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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