Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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