I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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