very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
