I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize