ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
