the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
