No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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