so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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