She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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