yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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