She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
