In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
