woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
