Sry I called you an 8
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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