this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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