butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think your dad took our porno
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
