i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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