If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
