Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
