I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize