This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
