capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
