That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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