Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
