Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
