Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Found your dick twin last night
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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