I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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