quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize