All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
