So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize