big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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