Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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