Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
