take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
