why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
