I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
