I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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