I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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