Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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