Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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