You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
