omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
