I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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